Fuck consistency
How to keep up with hobbies when you're inconsistent AF
I used to ghostwrite for a social skills website and was asked to write an article called "No hobbies or interests? Reasons why and how to find one." That article focused on finding a hobby and some common barriers and negative beliefs. This article won’t be about finding a hobby as much as maintaining it or at least not feeling guilty about not maintaining it.
Many ADHDers struggle with diving head-first into a new hobby, investing a lot of money into it, and then not keeping up with it. PMDD can lead to inconsistency, too—we may not have energy during luteal for a hobby we enjoy in our follicular phase (or, y’know, we are too busy raging and crying). Also, hobbies and interests naturally change at different points in our lives according to our ever-changing needs. In particularly busy periods, you may crave relaxing hobbies while opting for exciting ones when you have the physical/emotional/cognitive bandwidth.
We’re used to shaming ourselves because we receive messages about needing to be “consistent.” Or we spend money buying all the supplies we need for a hobby, so we must continue. Suddenly, our hobbies have become another item on a to-do list instead of a way to get to know ourselves, relax, or play.
Are you truly interested in The Thing?
Sometimes, we have preconceived notions of what hobbies to work on or what can be considered a “Real Hobby.” We may not want to engage in things we feel are too childish or don’t consider a deep dive into a topic a “real hobby.”
But what if I spend too much money on my hobbies?
Great question, but it's a separate issue from maintaining hobbies! We tend to guilt ourselves (“I spent so much time on this, I should keep it up” or “I told everyone I’m going to learn how to knit, so I have to practice”). You may need to work on impulse spending and budgeting (or not budgeting). Maybe you devote a certain amount of your budget to hobby money. You can purposefully look for cheap or free hobbies, lend stuff from libraries/friends/other people who have picked up and dropped hobbies, or start a hobby without buying everything you see on TikTok/Instagram/whichever app is sucking your soul at the moment).
But I really want to do the thing, and I just can’t get myself to do it!
I sometimes feel like I have some kind of house block. I could be on my way home, listening to music and wishing I could dance. I could vow to leave the music on and dance when I get home, but it's gone once I walk in the door (and put away my shoes and keys). I found myself often not knowing what to do in my free time. I had a long list of things I theoretically wanted to do, but then I would get home and scrolled for hours. Sometimes, I'd read or do art or something, but it was a constant struggle.
What has been working sometimes is trying to embrace my ADHD as much as possible. I started putting on headphones, listening to whatever I felt like, and waiting to see what the music moved me to do. And I don't force myself to go into it longer. I can be dancing for a couple of minutes, then doing dishes I have been putting off, then working on a collage, then thinking about stuff in my life, then crying. It's honestly really nice and has become something I enjoy doing with myself.
Cool, but give me some practical strategies!
Here is how AI structured this activity as a specific strategy when I copied my text to get some feedback/ego-stroking on my content:
Sensory-Guided Engagement Technique
Intentional Unstructured Exploration
Set aside dedicated time without pressure or expectations
Use music as a sensory trigger and emotional compass
Allow yourself to move between activities organically
Remove the expectation of linear productivity
Treat it as a form of self-discovery rather than a task
Practical Implementation Steps
Choose a playlist or music that matches your current emotional state
Create a comfortable, low-pressure environment
Have materials for potential activities nearby (art supplies, craft items, household tasks)
Let the music guide your attention without judgment
Set a loose time frame (e.g., 30-60 minutes) but no strict goals
If you menstruate, consider luteal and follicular hobbies
Your body has different needs when you’re nearing ovulation or when you’re menstruating. That makes sense, right? So why do we demand such consistency in our functioning? If you have times when you prefer to stay at home and binge-watch your comfort show and times when you want to go out with your friends, why not listen to that?
Here are some stuff I’ve been doing recently:
Follicular: going out dancing, trying new restaurants, attending comedy open mics or shows, parkour, boxing, meeting people I don’t know well, social-life-building stuff, writing (the more intense way with focus and references), and prepping stuff for luteal.
Luteal (and menstruation): going for a walk, listening to a podcast, dancing alone, decluttering, reorganizing furniture, watching videos of hobbies I want to try in follicular, crying, journaling, stretching, lazy writing or editing or finding memes for posts, reading, texting friends, watching a show or movie, making (and eating) new snacks, taking acid or an edible.
Put it on your calendar
Scheduling fun isn’t fun, but it can help give us a sense of structure. Find the way that works for you. I like putting things in occasionally as “ideal suggestions” - things like “date with myself” or “walk in the park.” I have been experimenting with Google Calendar.
The key is low-pressure scheduling. These aren't hard deadlines or productivity mandates. They're gentle nudges, like Post-it notes to your future self saying, "Hey, remember you wanted to try that thing?" The goal isn't to create another stress mechanism but to create soft invitations to play. Some weeks, you'll ignore them completely. Other weeks, they might spark something unexpected. And that's totally okay.
Make it easy for yourself
Some people make themselves hobby baskets or a dopamine menu to reach for. I haven’t been tempted to make these myself yet, but the point is to do whatever you’re drawn towards or think will be fun.
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