How to consume online health content and stay sane
It's a tough world out there
This article is an old comment I made on r/cptsd that I reworked into a longer article.
Every so often, someone posts on the CPTSD subreddit (and many other support forums) how they are recovering using books and online content instead of therapy or asks about a particular content creator (The Crappy Childhood Fairy on Youtube is a popular one).
Among the criticisms about particular creators, people post, “Of course, they aren’t professionals” (psychologists, etc.).
I personally believe someone can provide very helpful content without being a therapist and that someone isn’t a grifter by doing so, as this type of work takes a lot of time and energy. It makes sense to get compensated for providing such a service.
However, some advice can be confusing and even dangerous, particularly when it is marketed using pseudo-scientific language or promises amazing results.
I’ve been consuming online “therapy content” for the past few years (in addition to books and occasional therapy). I have several creators I’ve changed my mind on, whether due to their content changing or me being further along in recovery and seeing things differently.
Here are some things I look out for.
Clickbait titles
Are they trying to get views or share useful content? When someone constantly posts videos with titles like “The one way you’re destroying your relationship without knowing,” it becomes more about getting clicks and selling courses rather than providing useful information.
Mindreading
“Does your ex regret breaking up?”
“What the fearful-avoidant thinks after a breakup.”
“The traits avoidants are most attracted to.”
Yes, people follow patterns, but we are also individuals. Someone who tells you about the experience of others as a fact is problematic, even if it’s backed by statistics from attachment research (or research on personality disorders, etc).
Tons of scary problems, no solutions or hope (other than their course)
If the whole video is about how your trauma causes you to sabotage your life, and that’s what it ends, be wary. Marketing is about making people believe that we have serious problems that only they can solve, whether with their mascara, diet plan, or coaching class.
External focus
I found that the “15 Ways to Recognize a Covert Narcissist” and “How to Recognize Subtle Forms of Abuse” type of content kept me in hypervigilance and away from making significant progress in my recovery.
The book Attached plays a big part in the attachment theory community. In short, you get a lot of “you’re anxious, so you need to find a secure partner,” which kept me stuck focusing on my partner and what THEY needed to be doing to relieve my anxiety (and failing at) rather than what I needed to be doing to create a richer life for myself.
Your healing is not dependent on others. Obviously, our external environment has a big impact on our mental health. Learning about dysfunctional systems is important, but if you’re reading and watching more content about dealing with “the narcissist in your life” than things that will help you build a life that feels good to you, it may help to check in with yourself on how it makes you feel in the long term.
The promise of quick solutions
Does “Release trauma stuck in your hips in 30 days” sound familiar? I want to say no, that I would never be sucked in by such a thing, but let me tell you, their pseudoscience language was just right, and the Instagram account kept popping up in my feed.
Someone who promises they have a solution and that we can be healed in three months is tempting. Temptation is something to watch.
Rebranding common tools as their own
Anyone making it seem like they came up with something revolutionary that needs to cost $800 when it’s a support group with journaling prompts and meditations.
Art therapy is not new. Visualizations are not new. This creator did not discover a specific hip-opening exercise that will magically regulate your nervous system and make you lose weight. They should be able to tell you what the course/package includes. If there method is proven, there should be some research behind it other than “this worked for me and it should work for you too.” If it’s not proven, why are they charging so much money for it?
Specific creators
There is a never-ending list of content creators in the mental health field. Here are my opinions on some popular ones.
Generally, I prefer to link to specific videos rather than creators because I can never watch the entirety of their content and, therefore, can’t support it all. An example that jumps out to me is someone I used to follow on Instagram, who slowly went from holistic and spiritual but grounded psychology to something I couldn’t agree with anymore. Once I publish this article, I may remember to edit it occasionally, but I may not.
Please remember that these are my opinions (and those of some who consumed their content and wrote about it). I don’t mean to personally attack (or praise) any of these creators.
Crappy Childhood Fairy
I watched several of her videos shortly after finding out that I could have CPTSD. I eventually tried her daily practice, which I didn't find helpful.
I stopped watching her videos because I found her style quite stern and dismissive. It felt like a very one-style-fits-all approach based on her personal experience, which she does not seem to acknowledge.
Ultimately, I felt that her videos lacked value and preferred watching others. I believe that her approach may help some, but it’s filled with a lot of shame-based language which can also be harmful. Someone wrote a review of her course on the CPTSD subreddit.
Personal Development School
This account has good reviews and a ton of content. I watched many of Thais Gibson's videos while learning about attachment theory and tried her courses when they did a free 7-day trial. I decided not to continue as it wasn't the time of thing I was looking for.
The courses seemed to be mainly workbooks, which is fine. Still, the constant use of the word "reprogramming" rubs me the wrong way, as do videos with titles like "What your DA ex is thinking after a breakup." I think a lot of useful information gets lost due to daily videos meant to promote her courses.
The Secure Relationship
One of the better accounts I've seen. Julie Menanno is a marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor. She compassionately focuses on attachment theory without veering into shallow dating advice, mind-reading, or clickbaity titles. She has a Patreon, which is just $5 a month with video calls (last I checked), but I haven't tried it largely because it's in US time zones, and the free content is was enough for me. I no longer follow her as I feel I have learned enough from her content and I am no longer in a romantic relationship.
Patrick Teahan
As far as I know, he’s a trained therapist, and people find his content useful. However, I haven’t connected to his videos on a personal level due to my preference for language and framing (I try not to label my parents or others as “toxic people,” for example, but acknowledge the harm they did within the limitations they have as human beings who have suffered themselves).
The Holistic Psychologist
Dr. Nicole LePera is a psychologist who turned away from mainstream practice. She has a podcast, several books, and accounts on all the mainstream social media apps promoting self-healing.
There are a lot of criticisms of her, which I am not fully up-to-date on. From what I've heard, it's partially due to her attitude that most/all mental illness is due to trauma, and people find that she's dismissive of ADHD and other disorders. Others feel she does not acknowledge racism and poverty enough. There has also been criticism that one of her partners was involved in a scam or something that ripped people off.
I found some of her content useful at the beginning of my journey, and my friend who is currently reading her book How To Do The Work says it's amazing. However, once I read more, her content became shallow, reductionist, and repetitive.
Heidi Priebe
Heidi Priebe is a YouTuber who talks mainly about attachment and childhood trauma. She’s not a therapist, but her videos are wonderfully in-depth and down-to-earth. She does have a Master’s degree in Attachment Theory and Research. I’m not a fan of everything she posts (specifically, limerance), but most of what I’ve seen by her has been solid.
A perk is that she is not selling sessions or courses, so her videos are free of promotions.
The Workout Witch
The Workout Witch on Instagram sells various somatic-type courses, promising to “release trauma stored in your hips,” help you sleep, and lose weight. I tried one of her courses, and it was of no value. She deletes any negative comments and here’s a creator who ad a negative experience with her teacher training course.
Please let me know your opinions about mental health content out there. Who and what have I missed?